Have you ever found yourself mindlessly scrolling through Netflix wondering which holiday romantic comedy is perfect for you? Let me see if I can help! After two days of watching nothing but this genre, I really hope I can help…I mean I watched for me, I wanted it…but eleven movies in two days? If I can use my power for good, I will.
*nods head stoically* I will.
It all started because it snowed. The first snow is a magical moment (for me, I’m aware other people hate it, look, you don’t have to be here reading this). I decided I needed some magical movies to accompany my snow day (sidenote: I feel like I should clarify that I do not work Sunday through Tuesday, so no money-making-adult-responsibility work was impacted by the watching of these movies). What follows below are my personal opinions on all of the holiday themed cinema experiences I …experienced (if I can think of a better word, I’ll come back and fix this sentence, if not, hey whatsup?). Spoilers below…although I’m not sure it really matters for any of these.
- Holiday in the Wild
After watching Rob Lowe and Kristin Davis together in the made-for-tv genius that was Atomic Train (check the wiki page here, well worth the watch if you’re into bad movies), I was very excited to see them starring together in this one. Story line? Meh. Acting? Double meh (sorry *does one of those teeth-y grimace faces*). Watch this for the elephants.
- Christmas Inheritance
My attention was grabbed by the lead, Eliza Taylor, who I watched star in The 100 on the CW. I wouldn’t say I’m that big of a fan or anything, but I was intrigued. This movie is fun if you wanna watch a rich person discover her true values in life by being given only $100 from her father to survive on and prove herself responsible. I know, good shit right? I too, took a similar journey in life, except instead of the 100 bucks, my parents kept me on their phone plan, oh and I didn’t get to go back to being rich after…and I wasn’t before. But I was a proud member of a family phone plan!
- A Holiday Engagement
A wild plot on this one. If you think hiring someone to play your fake fiance so you don’t have to tell your parents the truth is a good idea, then watch this step-by-step how-to guide. It’s a meet cute you’re gonna want to see.
- Merry Kissmas
I won’t lie to you, I zoned out a bit during this one. Something about a magical elevator, a shitty fiance and an eligible chef? I think I lost interest when an older lady (played by Doris Roberts) assaulted the male lead character in that magical elevator. Like, excuse me? You do not just kiss someone without their consent, mistletoe or nah. That shit never would’ve flown if the identified genders on those characters were reversed and it shouldn’t have flown the way this movie portrayed those interactions. Then the lead female character does the same thing to the dude, but of course this he’s okay with. Good job, Christmas movie, sending really great messages about sexual consent.
- Santa Girl
Santa’s daughter is off to college to experience life before committing to an arranged marriage with Jack Frost’s son. Yes, you read that right. Acting? Cheesy. Production value? Who needs it! It does star Ned from Ned’s Declassified School Survival if you were into that and want a bit of nostalgia. Oh, or if you want to see Santa portrayed as a greedy jerk.
- Christmas with a View
The country’s hottest chef! That’s the whole selling point. I love holiday movies because they’re cheesy and ridiculous and have a feel-good happy ending. I suppose this movie tried to have all of that, I just didn’t really connect with the story or the characters. And I didn’t really feel that good after, which ultimately, was okay because I still had plenty of holiday rom coms to go! Gah! And don’t even get me started on how the movie criminally underutilized Vivica A. Fox, who was cast in a minor role.
- The Holiday Calendar
I genuinely enjoyed this one. I loved Kat Graham in The Vampire Diaries so I was more than willing to watch her in a cheesy Christmas film. And the plot delivered on the cheese, so much so that my lactose intolerance almost flared up. A photographer is gifted a magical advent calendar and the love story unfolds!
- Christmas Crush
I guess this movie is also called Holiday High School Reunion? That’s what google says anyway. Doesn’t seem to me like it matters much what you call it. I hated this movie. There, I said it. It portrayed grown ass adults still acting like cliched stereotypical teenagers. The most infuriating part is that this movie wasn’t even really a holiday film. It included these weird holiday musical numbers performed by the grownup members of the glee club. That was the only thing Christmas-y about this movie. Laaaame.
- Holly Star
Do you love buried treasure and christmas!? This is the movie for you! Also the main character’s name is Sloan, which I think is pretty dope. Oh and also, there’s paintball! And a best friend who only communicates via walkie-talkie (wow that is a strange word, I don’t think I’ve ever once in my life written it, wild).
- Dear Santa
I’m really upset by this movie. The plot essentially condones stalking. The lead (another wealthy woman being supported by her parents) finds a letter to Santa that has escaped from a mailbox. The writer of said letter, a little girl, is wishing for a new mom. The lead proceeds to STALK this man and his daughter to learn about them and figure out the perfect opportunity to facilitate a meeting. What. The. Fuck. That’s messed up. That does not fill me with holiday cheer. To top that off, a supporting character who’s gay is portrayed in stereotyped and limiting ways.
- Let it Snow
I decided to cover this one last because I enjoyed it the most. It actually got a 75% on Rotten Tomatoes. It starred some names and faces I recognized, including Shameik Moore (Dope, Into the Spider-Verse), Liv Hewson (Santa Clarita Diet), Kiernan Shipka (Chilling Adventures of Sabrina), Jacob Batalon (MCU Spiderman, Avengers), Anna Akana (who I know from YouTube, but check her IMDB because she’s done a lot, I’m just not sure I’ve seen any of it), and Joan Cusack (who has a lengthy career that I will not summarize because I’m already feeling a little overwhelmed that I decided to list all of these cast members). Phew, sorry, that was a lot. But all of that is to demonstrate that it had people I recognized and it was about Christmas and I was excited! I definitely felt warm and fuzzy while watching and reminiscing about what it was like to be a teenageer.
I hope this has been helpful in your own endeavors to find the perfect film to fill you with cheesy, gooey, holiday cheer. If you watch any of these, let me know what you think!